Josh Says Hello

Hello new blog.

My name is Josh. I’m one of the people that will be contributing pearls of wisdom and comedy into your pages which are really just a series of ones and zeroes.

It was my idea for all contributors to write a little intro piece as their first entry. I then ignored you for a week. What? I’m busy. And lazy. A rare combination of the two that, by god, gets shit done. Anyhow, here’s a few things about me:

I just moved back to Minneapolis from LA…for some reason.

I have a love/hate relationship with entertainment, as I can’t watch enough of it, but hate the attitudes and some of the people that go into the making of it. This is likely an extension of them not inviting me to sit at their table at lunch-time.

Sometimes I think the best way to meet women is to immediately pick a fight with them. I am currently single.

I have resolved to read a book a month in 2008, which is up from my previous record of one book about a boy wizard every two years. Thus far, I have kept up with this resolution by reading Steve Martin’s auto-biography in January, and The Ruins by Scott Smith in February. Both books were great, and only one is gonna’ be made into a movie. (At least in the next couple of months. The Steve Martin one will probably get the movie treatment once he kicks it.)

I used to claim I watched American Idol so I could make fun of it. I no longer feel the need to hide the fact that I’m genuinely concerned on which young clone of previous seasons’ contestants can or cannot blow. I pick and choose favorites, and hope beyond hope that they’re able to work it out.

I also firmly believe that current contestant Danny Noriega is actually popular actress Jessica Alba, in what will eventually be known as the greatest prank ever pulled on the American people ever.

I don’t give anyone’s movie review any credibility unless their opinion is some clever pun based on the title of the reviewed movie. Example, Semi-Pro? More like: I’d rather have a Pro run me over with his Semi than watch that movie again.

I believe those that speak with an accent are on some level faking it.

I Facebook and MySpace. I use both of those nouns as verbs. I also look to both for constant validation.

I currently have a phone that won’t allow me to dial out, text message, check any received text messages, access my menu, access my phonebook, access my missed calls, access my voice-mail, or access the screen. I’m like a caveman with the first cell phone. T-Mobile can suck it big-time.

So, there you have it John Voight’s car. That’s Josh. You got me.

Now what?