To spice things up a bit on The Car, I’ll be supplementing it with a weekly posting titled TV Badass Tournament. Each week, I’ll be pitting two TV Badasses against each other, and posting the results. This week’s contenders:
Horatio Caine from CSI: Miami vs. Renegade from Renegade. (I forgot Renegade’s name and internet search engines scare the shit out of me, so for all intensive purposes, his name is now Renegade.)
Renegade is television’s answer to Samson. His long flowing, majestic mane of man-hair is where he gets all his badass from. You shave his locks, and he’s worthless. Horatio gets all his power from his sunglasses and his expert use of dramatic pauses.
Example: Horatio Caine replied, “I’m going to kick...
(puts sunglasses on in a serious manner)
...the shit out of crime.” [Cue “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who]
Results: Everyone knows Horatio is the strongest human being in the universe. Renegade puts up a strong fight, but the extreme gust of wind created when Horatio activates his sunglasses disintegrates Renegade’s face. No contest.
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2 comments:
Lorenzo Lamas
...was the actor who played Renegade. Reno Raines was the enigma known as Renegade.
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